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Zionsville Times Sentinel
LIFE & TIMES
Wednesday, Jan. 2, 2002
B3
Start the new year
with a smile or two DOES YOUR HOME HAVE DEFECTIVE,
Happy New Year! Here we are already
One Jacksonian Democrat.
MOLDY LP SIDING?
almost three days into 2002, Zionsville’s
More loafers than it needs.
much anticipated sesquicentennial year.
Men who see every dog fight.
Replace with one of the following FiberCement products:
This seems like a good time to get the year
P
A champion horse-shoe thrower.
AST
• HARDI-PLANK
off to a good start with a smile or two, maybe
A livery stable and a billy goat.
• CEMPLANK
even a chuckle, a guffaw or a belly laugh.
TIMES
A tall old maid with a short beau.
• CERTAINTEED
Let’s face it. I’m just not in the mood to do
A drug store with a wet end to it.
a serious column, and I have some great
Joan P. Lyons
A few meddlesome old women.
“20 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE”
material from recent research that I’ve been
A brindle cow and a bob-tail horse.
Kirkenlow is a different kind of Contractor
dying to share with you. I promise to settle
A boy that ‘cuts up’ in church.
Quality siding skillfully applied
down by next week and return to Part IV of
An old maid with a wart on her nose.
Our crews are trained, certified and we fully guarantee our work.
the series on the development of a library in
your pipe with. Nuff of that already.
A widow that is too gay for her age.
Licensed, Bonded and Insured
Zionsville.
11. Guests will not take out them bricks
A young man that does nothing but
First comes the “Oklahoma Hotel Rules,”
in the mattress.
blow.
TRUST A PRO FOR QUALITY, SERVICE AND
reprinted from the Spokane Globe in The
12. If it rains through that hole overhead,
Some men that make remarks about
DEPENDABILITY
Zionsville Times of June 7, 1889, as
you'll find an umbrella under the bed.
women.
KIRKENLOW REMODELING
“Necessary hints to travelers in that booming
13. The rats won’t hurt you if they do
Hens that scratch up other people’s gar-
769-5691
country.”
chase each other across your face.
dens.
“1. If the bugs are troublesome, you’ll
14. Two men in a room must put up
A hen pecked husband and a rooster
find the kloroform in a bottle on the shelf.
with one chair.
pecked wife.
2.
Gents goin’ to bed with their boots on
15. Please don’t empty the sawdust out
A mother that sees no good in other peo-
will be charged extra.
of the pillers.
ple’s children.
3.
Three raps at the door means that
16. Don’t kick about the roches. We
A lot of boys who polish their overalls
there is a murder in the house, and you must
don’t charge extra.
on the curb stones.
get up.
17. If there’s no towel handy, use a
A grown young man that laughs every
4.
Please rite your name on the wall
piece of the carpet.”
time he says anything.
paper so that we know you’ve been here.
Perhaps I’d better mention that I’ve done
A sewing society that distributes more
5.
The other leg of the chair is in the
no editing on the above, or on the list that
gossip than its local paper.
closet if you need it.
follows, just in case you think I’ve really
A bully that any sixteen year old boy
6.
If that hole where that pane of glass is
gone off the deep end.
could lick if he only knew it.
out is too much for you, you’ll find a pair of
On October 20, 1893, The Times printed
A girl that chews gum and goes to the
pants behind the door to stuff in it.
this list of things “Nearly all towns have:”
postoffice every time the mail comes in.
7.
The shooting of a pistol is no cause
“A lawyer.
Scores of men with the caboose of their
for any alarm.
A ‘smart alex.’
trousers worn smooth as glass.
8.
If you’re too cold, put the oilcloth
A girl that giggles.
A married couple who ‘bill and coo’ pub-
over your bed.
A woman that tattles.
licly and fight privately.
9.
Caroseen lamps extra; candles free,
A neighbor feud.
A high minded woman that always says
but they mustn’t burn all night.
A man from ‘back east.’
the wrong thing when she speaks in compa-
10. Don’ tare off the wall paper to lite
A man who knows it all.
ny.”
BIRTH
317.733.4250
Baby daughter joins
daughter, Noelle Jeannette Hiatt.
es in length.
Carmel. Paternal grandparents
Hiatt family
Noelle was born Dec. 13 at the
She was welcomed home by a are John and Geri Burns of
1490 W. Oak St.
Karen and Joe Hiatt of St. Vincent Family Life Center in sister, Lillianna.
Westfield. Maternal great-grand-
Brownsburg are happy to Indianapolis, weighing 7 pounds,
Maternal grandparents are mother is Jeannette Gustafson of
Zionsville, IN 46077
announce the birth of their 6 ounces and measuring 21 inch- Charles and Jean Bruess of Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.
BINGHAM McHALE
the perfect combination
On the first of January 2002 the law firm of Bingham Summers Welsh & Spilman and the law firm of
McHale Cook & Welch merged to become Bingham McHale LLP.
812.482.5500 binghammchale.com
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